Guidelines for Writing Coherent Web Site Articles

To make sure that the general reader will understand the information presented on our web site, use the following guidelines and examples when adapting scientific studies for inclusion on the site:

Use an Informative Title

Readers will be looking for articles with specific information, so the title of each article should be precise and accurate. An article's title should answer one or both of the questions “What is this article about?” and  “What information is found in this article?”

Example: The title of the article HCSUS Fact Sheet: HIV Cost and Services Utilization Study answers the question “What is this article about?” - it is about the HIV Costs and Services Utilization Study, and contains information on what the study is, who is involved, and how it is being conducted. If  this article also contained information on HIV vaccines, its title would reflect that.

Divide the Article Into Sections

Put information on each topic being covered into its own section of the article. This helps break up long articles that may intimidate a general reader, and helps those who are not reading the whole article at once find the information for which they are looking.

Example: In the HCSUS Fact Sheet, all of the information on the organizations involved in HCSUS is in the Who Is Conducting HCSUS? section, all of the information on what HCSUS involves is in the What is the Scope of HCSUS? section, and all of the information on what HCSUS researches is in the What Will HCSUS Examine? section. If the article contained information on HIV vaccines, that content would go into its own section; it would not be part of another section.

Use Informative Headings for Sections

After dividing the article's content into sections, each section should get an informative heading. Like an article's title, a section's heading should precisely and accurately indicate what information a section contains. To help general readers understand what a section will contain, it can be useful to put the heading in the form of a question, and have that question answered in the section.

Example: The HCSUS Fact Sheet uses headings effectively. Each section's heading is a question that is answered by the section's content. The question “Who is conducting HCSUS?” is answered in the first sentence of that section - “HCSUS is funded through a cooperative agreement between the Agency for Health Care Policy Research (AHCPR) and RAND—a private nonprofit research institution in Santa Monica, CA.” The question “What will HCSUS Examine?” is answered in the section with the list of things studied by HCSUS.

Divide Sections into Paragraphs

Put each subset of information in a section into its own paragraph. Start each of these paragraphs with a topic sentence that answers the question “What is the point of this paragraph?”.  After the topic sentence, present supporting data, such as explanations and examples. Readers who are looking for specific data can find the paragraph for which they are looking by examining the topic sentence of each paragraph.

Example: Paragraphs in the HCSUS Fact Sheet start with sentences that present their main ideas, then have supporting sentences. The topic sentence “HCSUS is composed of a core study and several supplemental studies” answers the question of what the paragraph is about – it is about the studies that make up HCSUS. Then the paragraph elaborates on the study, presenting details on who was involved, what was examined, and how samples were collected:

    “The core study has enrolled a national probability sample of 2,864 HIV-infected adults     who were receiving ongoing or regular medical care in the first 2 months of 1996.     Respondents were sampled from 28 urban areas and 24 clusters of rural counties in the     continental United States. Patients receiving services in hospitals, clinics, and private     practice settings were enrolled. HCSUS oversampled women and members of staff model     health maintenance organizations, to obtain more precise information on these specific     populations.”

Break Up Long Paragraphs

Keeping paragraphs short enhances the readability of an article for the general reader; long paragraphs can be intimidating. Paragraphs should be long enough to address their topic and no longer. If a paragraph is more than 125 words, see if some of its content can be extracted and put into a separate paragraph. Use a bulleted or numbered list for paragraphs whose content lends itself to list format. Lists help make long paragraphs more readable, and help readers quickly find the data for which they are looking.

Example: In the HCSUS Fact Sheet, the section What Will HCSUS Examine? supports its first paragraph's topic sentence by listing supporting data:

• The HCSUS will address a broad array of issues relevant to public policy formulation     and to health services research:
  • Cost, use, and quality of care.
  • Access to care.
  • Unmet needs for care.
  • Quality of life.
  • Social support.
  • Knowledge of HIV.
  • Clinical outcomes.
  • Mental health.
  • The relationship of these variables to provider type and patient characteristics.

Fictional Case Study University

MEMORANDUM

TO:         Kim Vavrick

FROM:     Bo Bayles

DATE:     26 May, 2005

SUBJECT:     Evaluation of Introduction to Academic Advising

I went over the introduction to academic advising that you wrote for the advising office's new pamphlet. My evaluation and suggestions for improvement are below.

Section by Section Analysis

Academic advising is counseling by a university representative, usually a faculty member, to assist the student achieve their goals for their education.  The counseling's character, and the relationship that exists between the advisor and the student, change as the student's career in the academic setting progresses.

Starting the paragraph with a definition of academic advising is good; it makes the subject of the section clear to the readier. The second sentence introduces the topic that will be discussed in the rest of the section, another good practice.

The following improvements can be made:

• The use of “the student” in the first sentence is incorrect – no specific student has been introduced yet. You could use “a student” or “students” to correct this, as long as subsequent references agree.
• The phrase “assist the student achieve their goals” is incorrect. You could substitute “help the student achieve his or her goals” or “help students achieve their goals.”
• The second sentence can be more concise. Instead of “the relationship that exists” and “career in the academic setting,” you could use “the relationship” and “academic career” to say the same thing and be less wordy.

In the student's freshman and sophomore years, academic advising assists the student to identify, comprehend, and finalizing the sequence of university core requirements; that is, common classes such as English composition and basic science courses. It is also the case that academic advising may also serve to help the student clarify his academic strengths and interests in order to establish a major.

• Using “assists the student to” does not make sense. As above, “the student” can be replaced with “students”, and the list of advising activities can be given parallel construction. You could write “academic advising assists students in identifying, comprehending, and finalizing...” to make the sentence easier to follow.
• The sentence with  “university core requirements” could be shortened by putting the explanation of core requirements in parentheses and eliminating the “that is.”
• “It is also the case that,” “may also serve to help,” and “in order to” are unnecessarily wordy.  Also, the pronoun “his” should be avoided here, since it is not used in the rest of the article. As above, “the student” could be replaced with “students.” The sentence could be re-written to read “Academic advising may also help students clarify their academic strengths and interests to establish a major."

During these first two years, the interpersonal relationship between the student and adviser are usual general and impersonal. The academic advisor may very well be someone with whom the student has little or no contact beyond obtaining a signature as a formality on paperwork. Similarly, the student may well never be enrolled in a course taught by the adviser, or otherwise become involved in the adviser's activities or academic interests.

•  Here, the use of “interpersonal relationship” is redundant; “relationship” by itself will suffice. Using “on paperwork” is unnecessary; using “signature” makes it obvious.
• You use both “adviser” and “advisor” in this paragraph. The dictionary says that both mean the same thing, but the spelling should be consistent throughout this introduction. You should use the spelling the university uses.
• As above, “the student” is not introduced, and here “the academic advisor” is not introduced. They can both be replaced with “students” and “advisors,” as long as subsequent references to them agree.
• I would rewrite the last sentence to read “Similary, students may not be enrolled in courses taught by their advisors, or be involved in their advisors' activities.” The phrases “may well,” and “otherwise become” are excessively wordy.

This rarely succeeds in giving the student the optimal possible guidance for progressing in their academic career, however it is very economical and usually suitable. Faculty time and resources are expensive, limited quantities. Except in small, private institutions, there is rarely a large enough faculty to provide close and individual attention to each student who needs it. Student attrition rates are high in these first two years, many students flunk out of school before they have an opportunity to benefit from detailed, personal advice. Even among those who stay there is a high percentage of changes in academic majors. The emphasis on ensuring students understand and complete the core requirements ultimately ensures that those who do remain as students are able to progress along their degree path in a relatively smooth fashion.

• In the first sentence, “this” is not specific. It could be replaced with “This lack of involvement.”
• Using “optimal possible” seems wordy and pretentious. I would replace it with “best.”
• The “however” in the first sentence does not have a comma following it. I would end the first sentence at “academic career.” Then I would make “However,” the start of a new sentence.
• At first you say that the lack of involvement “rarely succeeds,” but then later say that the arrangement is “usually suitable.” Should the first be “often does not succeed?”
• The third sentence seems awkward to me.  I would rewrite it to read “With the exception of small, private institutions, rarely is the faculty large enough to provide individual attention to every student.”
• “Student attrition rates” and “flunk out” are redundant, and the phrase “flunk out” seems out of place. I would rewrite that sentence to read “Unfortunately, many students leave the university before they can benefit from detailed, personal advice.” Also, the part about students changing majors does not seem to fit – I think that would be a result of academic advising, not a problem caused by a lack of it.
• The last sentence is wordy, and could be revised to say “The emphasis on ensuring that students complete the core requirements guarantees that those who stay in the university are able to smoothly progress along their degree paths.”

In the student's junior and senior years, there is a shift in the emphasis. The goal of academic advising now is more to assist the student finish fulfilling their individual educational needs, and less to help the student meet the requirements of the university. Academic advising helps the student make the best choices of the remaining options and requirements.

• The first sentence is vague - “the emphasis” should refer to “academic advising.” Then the second sentence can be changed to read “Its goal during these two years...”
• As above “assist” is used incorrectly, and there is an undefined reference to “the student.” Also, the last part on “university requirements” is unnecessary; that subject has been dealt with previously. That part of the second sentence could be changed to read “to assist students in fulfilling their educational needs.”
• The last sentence also has an undefined reference to “the student,” and “make the best choices of” is an improper construction. It could be changed to read “Academic advising helps students choose the best remaining options and complete the remaining requirements.”

The relationship between the student and adviser is closer in the last two years as well. The adviser is more personally acquainted with the student; he (or she) has seen the student periodically over a substantial period of time, and may even have instructed the student in on or more classes. The adviser is also more familiar with the major department, the courses it offers, and the colleagues who teach them, and can offer the student personal recommendations regarding many important and critical issues. Owing to the fact that the student is pursing academic interests related to the adviser's, there is likely to be more interaction between them in academic projects and programs.

• Again, use of the specific “the student” and “adviser” should be replaced with “students” and “advisors.” This eliminates the need for the  “he (or she)” in the second sentence. Also, as above, using “advisor” or “adviser” consistently is important.
• In the third sentence, the use of “important and critical” is redundant. I would rewrite the third sentence to read “At this point, advisors are also more familiar with their students' major departments, the courses they offer, and the professors who teach them, and can offer personal recommendations on many important issues.”
• In the last sentence, “Owing to the fact” is wordy; “Because” would be better. I would rewrite it to read “Because their students are pursing academic interests related to their own, advisors interact with them more in academic projects and programs.” This eliminates another nonspecific reference to “the student” and “the adviser”.

Academic advising also helps the student look beyond their undergraduate years. As the student comes closer to concluding a degree program, they may be considering the possibility of entering a professional career, for example, or at extending their education in a graduate program. Academic advising serves to assist students again in making the educational choices, which will be most productive in meeting those goals.

• In this section there are more problems that can be fixed by replacing references to “the student” with “students.”
• I think “they may be considering the possibility of” could be shortened to “they may be considering” without losing meaning. The “for example” after this part can also be eliminated, and “professional career” can be shortened to “career.”
• The second part of the second sentence does not make sense. It now reads “they may be considering... at extending their education in a graduate program.” I would eliminate the “at” in “at extending their education.”
• In the third sentence, “serves to assist” is wordy, and can be replaced with “assists.” Also, the phrase “educational choices” seems unnecessary; “choices” should suffice. I would rewrite it to read “Academic advising assists students again in making the choices that will be most productive in meeting these goals.”

Conclusions

The introduction you wrote is a good start for what is to be included in the pamphlet. As noted above, I found some problems with consistency and style. Making the changes above will help make the introduction more concise, easier to read, and more effective at introducing academic advising. I would be glad to review your next revision, please contact me when you have it completed.